a lil bit of me and a whola lotta bull$hIT or is it???

since the last few years..especially post 2004 a lot of things have tainted the idea of a relationship.I mean there seems to be a vortex of changes in that last 4 years or so in tat aspect. Back then i was a 17 year old fat(still am on a lesser note) teen that was in one of the most sought after boy schools in the country...life was good..had a steady set of frens and a lifestyle tat was rather advanced for a dude of my age i shall say .I even had a steady gf who was decent looking..had a wonderful character to boot.She had many 'intresting' frens in a nutshell:) . We got together when i had the courage to ask her to be my girl on January of tat wondefull year.Prior to tat i did date a few girls but they were more like as the oldies say....'passing clouds'... .This havin a gf thing started a year earlier when i was 16 and every dude in skool was dating someone from the 'big2' girls skools which were either cbn or bbgs or sbu as the call it for the past few years.I mean no disrespect to other girls skools..my steady gf i mentioned earlier was from neither of this skools as she was from pj from a little skool called Assunta tat packed quite a lot of 'suprises' to be honest.As i was sayin earlier, the peer pressure kicked in at 16 .Not knowing how or where to start as i was at a boy skool and onli enjoyed errr how do i put this...ermmm darn it..i onli enjoyed watchin PORN... .So i had no clue at all on how to 'meet' a girl let alone 'get' her.However some parties came along coz almost everyone's rich in my batch and i 'managed' to get my self noticed and eventually dated 'mutal contacts'.This might sound like i was gassing (boasting ) but i soon realized i had the knack of makin a girl laugh and keep a conversation intresting and GOD.... no offence to the fairer sex out there, but if u can do tat... u practically 'nailed' it coz its mighty hard to do so adding to the fact i was not much of a looker lol.Much of my 16th year on this planet was devoted to 'expanding horizons' i shall say where i was workin to meet new people(90%girls) and movin up this invisible hierarchy that existed in skool about how popular 'we' are wit girls.I was nowhere near the top ..but..i frankly think the best bit is in the middle...u know the filling of a bun?>.the top is just the crust.Of course if i used the ideology of a a cake ...the icing is the best but i hate cake so we would just stick to the bun. Soon after i turned 17 which was year 2004 and it was bliss... like i mentioned earlier, i met miss 'steady gf' and it was almost perfect..my batch mates matured as well and stop being the pain in the arse to me(im a fat dude remember?>u know wat happens to most of em in skool) and i manage to earn some degree of respect due to my own maturity(at least i think) as i do blame myself for some of the diss my frens gave me at lower secondary due to my blind idea of trying to be 'cool' .Back to miss steady gf ..well she really made my day i guess coz it was a first proper relationship for me as all b4 tat didnt reli turn out really well..some turned out pretty bad due to me tryin to go down the' cool 'path and havin my cover blown .The year went on and then Spm soon came and left and then there was "PROM NITE" yes...i know..it sounds all hollywoodish but almost every skool does it these days. Back then however, only the 'top' 4 or 5 actually have a proper event at a 5 star hotel wit a proper set up,ticketing,food..the whole works.Mine was at this hotel i cant quite recall but i think it was Sheraton Imperial.I must say i felt pretty smug about havin a gf tat nite coz many of the so call 'popular' guys were sitting lookin really 'lonesome' i shall say(gosh i sound all 17ish but it felt great at tat point).I love driving and im basically a walkin car 'geek' and so naturally i was one of the earliest to get a license in my batch and it came in handy as i even picked up my girl from her place in mummy's kelisa lol.The entertainment for tat nite however was kinda lame coz one was a band tat consisted of my frens tat sang songs about a part of the body or nothin for tat matter as they tried to mimic or rather be a hybrid of popular bands such as 'system of a down' 'slipknot' and 'incubus' but being the newbies tat they were it turned out kinda bad (sorry guys)despite 3 out 4 of em havin some talent in their roles.I must say tat the first band i stated was rather popular among my batch mates due to thier kickass style of music but for some reason became suckier as every album came along after the 2nd one.ANYWAY as i was sayin,my gf quickly got bored of the entertainment tat was presented and we quickly moved out of the hall and we were not amazed to see most of the couples from the same 'prom' gettin comfy at corners while listenin to the soothin music the hotel's in house band played which was a floor below and could be seen as well from where we were.My girl was a country and western /oldies fanatic(i know..u just cant find em these days..its either justin,hitz.fm or some fag band) and she was havin a time of her life and ditto to me as well coz she was in my arms!!.A peek across the other end of the corridor and i see my closest fren of em all since primary on the other corner wit his girl natalie(not her real name but such a wonderful girl) but for some reason(which i eventually asked him a few weeks back!) he wasnt talkin to me tat nite as he is a very emotional individual and u can hurt the poor soul without ever knowin (has changed quite a bit since then).I didnt really care about it coz i knew he would come out of it like he always did and as soon as the nite ended i sent her rite to a doorstep just like a gentleman would(i think i was).Btw a lot of first's happened tat nite for me between me sendin her home and gettin her to the doorstep tat i wish to remain onli between me and her but. All the preparations,the money i saved which bought my outfit and her ticket which i insisted in doin so although i lent tat cash from my chemistry teacher intially and paid him back a year later! but it was well worth it as per my story...i remember everythin tat happened tat nite...that awesome bodyhuggin dress she had on that was black and the organic outlook of tat entire nite was captured in an essence and stored in my memory bank and it will be there forever....well thats the SWEET part...soon after tat things were goin fine along as we both finished skool and both of us got drafted into National Service but just before i started my stint we both felt tat we have 'exhausted' the relationship..... rather more on her side lol..well at tat point of time i was tottaly down..well the love of my life(as she was my first sweetheart) has just decided to call it quits coz she felt it was not goin anywhere.As i was sayin i was totaly out ....well think about it..just days b4 ur goin to some forest area whre u be spending the next 2 months tryin to survive nature(im a city boy,never camped prior to tat in my life..my closest encounter wit nature is probably the park near my house!) and u get a bombshell like this..no body to talk to on the phone..totaly alien place and an alien experience coz for the last 1 and half years.. company was a phone number away..err talkin about tat.... 2004 recorded the highest phone bills at my home as i didnt know it would cost so much callin cell phones back then. It took me quite a while to adjust.... recent breakup and being middle of the jungle just dont mix(trust me on this) .We usually get back our cellphones on friday until sunday evenin as my particular camp was a lil sticky on the issue but as i got used to it and manage to doop those army dudes as i packed a pair of empty phone covers and gave it back and kept my phone for the whole duration. The first time i got my phone...my instant action besides callin home was to well....call her....and its only when she picked up i realized tat we were not 'together' .This was the first quarter(first 3 months in otherwords) of 2005 to be precise.I dun wish to talk about my experience in the stint as we were mainly campin,marchin,eatin crappy food and attendin 'classes'(which were packed wit weird agendas..anybody went for tat series will know wat i mean....wat does jugglin balls gotta do wit building confidence!?)Even as i got back my mind was bombarded wit the 2 W'S (why and what if's) as it still felt hard.But like any sane person should and must.....we have to move on and not wander about how the great the past was(arent i doing it in this piece anyway??) Well the folowing months felt rather weird coz not only i was single..it was tat difficult transistion from skool to college life..wel think about it..the entire story i wrote above about how i built networks and 'contacts' in skool..and POOF !...just gone.!!..everybody was doin their thing..70% of em were leavin the country for a start includin MY EX for a new beginning as i was from a skool as said earlier filled wit inviduals wit deep pockets for parents and every plane tat took off from KLIA the folowin months had one fren of mind so to speak lol and i was back to 'zero'.I decided to take up LAW and although im not from a rich family my parents tried their best by givin me 2 options..study law here completely wit a reasonable car to boot once i get to my degree or 'overseas' but onli if i manage to get to degree level..Well truth is one of the main reasons i took law is coz it has zero MATH IN IT..I HATE IT..i realy do..it takes me time even until today to multiply 13 by 8! so yea.. and i wanted to capitalize on the fact i loved history and readin..NOTE:IF ANYBODY IS EVER THINKIN OF DOIN LAW U GOTTA BE IN LOVE WIT READING..in other words ..the people tat have stayed wit me until this point qualify to do law so to speak..anyway back to the context.. ..i picked the first option since i still feel thre is somethin to be offered by hangin around here and not takin the what is POSSIBLY the easy way out and runnin off to a far away land and gas to my frens tat im in places tat sound like PORT MOODY OR WEST BRADFORD instead of KUALA LUMPUR or a 'fashionable' name like SETAPAK ....And there i went..startin in a popular 'law' college...the brochure went on sayin it produced a record number of students wit high grades and it sits in the 'heart' of kl wit easy acess (dun wish to name it ..its a Law college...wont like me dissing em but i think most of u know which college it is). well the last time i checked the heart of kl was the golden triangle which comprised of klcc and other important tourism places where they charge u a whopping 100 bucks per sq feet so yea..it didnt look good from the start.The college was situated in an old building the other side of the real 'heart' of kl and there was no 'campus' to speak off .If u wait outside alone long enough u would be mugged and god i've never seen so many tranny's in a single place b4 as the back lane was a popular 'RED LITE DISTRICT'.So there u have it..i was completely new place..no frens to speak off... back down to 'zero' i was tellin myself.BUT thats when i realized somethin truly important...it didnt matter who u were ..how popular u were back in skool ( i wasnt tat popular anyway lolz)..who u were dating..whatt kinda sports u played or any of that crap!..ur just another 'college student' the moment u leave skool....this was adulthood 101 then....there i was standing in front of the afromentioned 'campus' wit my bag and flashy 'teen' fashion while holdin my schedule in my hand and tellin myself 'gosh...u should have got out of the country!!!' .I must note tat the focal point of my story is still on relationships but it takes the place ,the emotions and contributing factors tat would chart my path (the 2 W'S ran wild in my head again).As u can see there's not sight of a girl which means literally THERE WASNT'!! lol...i didnt even know people there as none of my skool mates joined tat college (except for one nerd dude tat was constantly tortured in skool but i didnt know him)My closest fren i mentioned earlier durin my rantings on prom was really into flying and was waitin for his chance (he's a pilot now!) and went on to last in form 6 for less than 2 weeks lol and we never really talked much as we were busy wit our own 'wars' so to speak....well fast forward 2008..here i am now writing muh blog and in 4 years...just 4 years...an idea of a relationship is ALIEN to me in a nutshell...i mean hell yea..i did date after tat but it was never as sweet as the first(i know most think so) coz priorities and most importantly...expectations have changed so much coz 'almost' every girl wants tat dude on the idiot box!!!(tv for ur info lol) and nowdays there is the smaller idiot box thats exerting its ideosyncrasy as well...in the name of 'financial creativity' the dudes in the showbiz have latch on to a realy succesful formula. It starts with a perfect town(usually where everyone knows each other) and then design the casts out of wax(they reli look like it seriously).the dude is like this PERFECT GUY in everyway..6 packs,great in bed ,caring..(i have 2 of tat i think lol) .the whole works and put him and his various 'female intrests' through a somewhat believable crap tat life's throws at us to make it look 'real' and then go back to being perfect wit a PERFECT ENDING...tell me people..how many shows have this same story????(one tree hill,laguna beach,the oc,friday light nights) ..its all basically the same thing with a lil bit of football or surfin thrown in to set it apart....i kid u not but i frankly havent seen even 1 effing episode of any of the shows and i just hear the scoop from frens and it sounds the same!!..a girl i was datin in college(yeah i eventually did but it didnt last) was mad about the OC....my close frens were into one tree hill(the most popular one among em i think) and i know this one girl tat followed all the shows faithfully and like i said earlier..subtract football and surfin and maybe tanning...its the same crap!...well the flypside of this is MOST girls want tat guy in this shows....THE PERFECT GUY... and this has just cut out the work for the rest of us average joe's...based on" intelectual "conversations i had wit these show 'addicts' (onli the girls since its from my point of view and im a guy the last time i checked) it seemed similar as well..on initial contact..they seem to deny and say thats just on celluloid but as i pushed em a lil more wit my bang on questions and they actually agreed tat they turn on the ..well ..err THE ONE TREE HILL GUY TEST and compare the guys tat are tryin thier heart out to get em wit the lead character in thier head and a scorecard.Furthermore competition has gotten fierce from the 'foreigners' as well....no disrespect to the 'fairer sex' but a 'number' of malaysian girls seem to just go all oohhh and ahhhhhs the moment u say ur not from Malaysia..is it such a bad thing we guys are born here??? a year ago i met this 'girl' tat i barely knew..she popped the question and i told her im from lebanon(i look a lil middle east i think and no..im not proud of it) and she was like so 'into' me..i mean LEBANON..has she even heard of it????..and i actually got lucky just fer tat!!!!!! and then recently i met her and the best part is she had forgotten me(im not memorable to some i guess lol) and this time i had to re do the intro thingy and while halfway muttering " KAYYYYYY ELLLLLLL "she just turned and talk to a mate of mind tat was from singapore!..i mean common ...SINGAPORE???.our 'favourite' people...oh gosh...and this same experience has been told to me by a lot of people for me not to consider it a one off ...hell even jay jay and rudy from hitz 'caught' a chic in her moment durin one of the famed gotcha calls......but in the end i guess its not the end of the world.Human beings are given inteligence so tat we can adapt to situations and survive..but im guessin inteligence is not an answer to solve the girl issue since idiot boxes and idiots in general kinda run the show.E.G..ur a bad boy but wit perfect abs u get the girl coz ur able to give em the ONE TREE HILL EXPERIENCE..BUT TRY BEING honest and down to earth dude and ever willing to spend the rest of ur life being that crying shoulder to ur girl 'frens' and....ur just one big ,boring moffo....its true nice guys dun finish last all the time but its a losing battle fer sure...the 2 factors i gave is probably the tip of the iceberg fer now..i mean i know there are girls out there tat are different and have a mind of their own rather than a 'rented' one from the idiot box and yada yada yada..but like i said..its a losing battle..the dude tat treats his girl like like shit or tat odd foreigner are the flavour of the last couple of years and are goin from strength to strength...congrats to dudes in these 2 groups..as for me....im still puzzled by all the mumbo jumbo tat i thought of..as fer now...since guys like me( reli caring and funny and decent lookin..err i think..) are not the flavour i guess i wil take muh car tonight and intro my self as wayne frazel from lebanon(thats not even a lebanese name so u get muh point) and see what happens...just for laughs... i wont be suprised of the outcome and will return wit intrestin feedback lol ..its seriusly a puzzling and weird world for sure.....2004 -2008 seems like a hundred years in devolution of inteligence to many...i guess some of us dun 'evolve' for the better as time passes...lol... p.s. if there is a song akin to my story its BRAND NEW BY DRAKE.. go check it out....im sure u guys will love it...chiowz fer now and i know muh spellin is not the best but but thats me people..a 110%....end......